But I doubt he was swimming in his sheets like I was last night.

At least the hat isn't on the bed

Our names have the same cadence, so I always think of thiswhen I’m illin’. And now I’m illin’ in Vegas, probably in the same spot he was some 50 years ago. (I think he was at the Sands, which was imploded here. I forget.)

But now I’m better! So that means no more half-ass poker, playing an orbit of 1/2 to see my AA get cracked, and then dinking around in a low-level horse game the rest of the day. Since I’m probably the only one in this town using pseudoepinephrine the way nature intended I’m bound to have an advantage.

At least Spain won. bankroll salvage!


The Problems are an occasional series designed to help you think about your play. As if.

Hand 1
Situation: 2am at a $1/$2 NL game at the Venetian. The tables aren’t packed like they were a few hours ago, so you still have a number of tables to choose from. You choose the table with Russell at it anyway.

Your Hand: A 6

Action to you: You limp, because you’re tired.

Flop: A 6♠ 6♣

Action: Checks to you.

Question: What do you do?

Answer: Check, idiot. No one’s gonna pay you off anyway. Besides the waitress with the glasses is finally bringing back your diet coke.

Action: You check, and so does everyone else. The waitress walks past your table with nary a glance.

Turn: Q♣

Action to you: Euromoney throws out a dime. Russell and Juno both fold.

Question: What do you do?

Answer: You could steam raise, since you’re really thirsty. Most of these guys would chase anyway.

Action: You call. Shortstack and Drunken Fratboy also call. $64 less rake in the pot.

River: 5♣

Action to you: Euromoney bets the pot.

Question: What do you do?

Answer: Whatever you do, don’t just call. One of these POWs will pay you off, and the craps table just went up to $15.

Action: You push all in. The pot’s now about $420. Shortstack calls, as does Drunken Fratboy (he uses $100 bills). Euromoney thinks for awhile, staring at about $900 in the pot.
Seems the only people looking at me are those who folded. I roll my eyes for the audience. Euromoney calls. Two flip over flushes, Russell slaps the table, and I’ve recouped my $1500 buy-in.