PAD funnies

This amuses me to no end, so I’ll bother you with it.

Thanks to the original BBV poster.

 

Pussy Tilt

Are u telling me u laid down a set of queens on that board? U fucking pussy. Even if he’s got a straight u still have 10 outs. Dude, just play 10-20.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

I’m secure enough in my masculinity to admit I went on pussy tilt. If I got the hand in question in a vacuum, I probably play it differently (and I couldn’t have played it worse as we shall see). But in the past half hour at a $1/$2 at the Taj (new puke amber paint, same cruddy atmosphere) I looked liked the table’s Pay Off Wizard, calling off all my chips to a 6-high straight with an A in my hand, and raising my baby flush only to get called by J high diamonds. Instant loss of 1.8 buy-ins.

So it was in this context i squeezed red Queens. In middle position hero raises to $12 and small blind calls.

Players
Chalupa ($300) ? ?
Hero ($340) Q♥ Q♦
Pot: $26

Flop 7♦ 9♠ Q♣

Beautiful. Top set, no threats, and I need to get paid. Chalupa checks. I check.

Turn K♥

Chalupa: “$15.”
Hero. “Raise. To $50″
Chalupa: (brief pause) (to dealer) That’s $50? Pause “All-in.”

Simultaneously I’m looking for What Can Beat Me and I quickly fixate on JT because I have no information becuase I checked the flop. Idiot. Ugh. Does he have it does he have it does he have it what are my outs if he does 20% and hey it’s only a $62 dollar loss right now so cut them.

Pussy folds.

Chalupa shows button with whom he’s bonded or whatever K♠. Brilliant. He was slow-playing Kings. Sure he was.

I hoover up a multiway pot about 20 minutes later to recover my losses for the session, but that hand still bugs me. ♠♥♦♣

 

‘08 the Hard Way

So John McCain is a craps junkie. I’m not really sure what to make of this, if I should stop donking off at the $15 table outside of the Borgata poker room, at least until after the election.

14 hours of craps? God, even I haven’t done that. Yet.

 

Awesome

Lowball is not a crime.

 

Travel tilt

That’s it. I’m getting the car Sunday.

 

Prick repellent

Well this was bound to happen. Mind, I can’t remember anyone ever asking to see my cards. Maybe my style of play, or that I don’t really needle anyone.

Anyway, you’re not pulling this crap at Foxwoods anymore.

Thanks for abusing the privilege, donks.

 

The Problems

The Problems are an occasional series designed to help you think about your play. As if.

Hand 1
Situation: 2am at a $1/$2 NL game at the Venetian. The tables aren’t packed like they were a few hours ago, so you still have a number of tables to choose from. You choose the table with Russell at it anyway.

Your Hand: A♦ 6♦

Action to you: You limp, because you’re tired.

Flop: A♥ 6♠ 6♣

Action: Checks to you.

Question: What do you do?

Answer: Check, idiot. No one’s gonna pay you off anyway. Besides the waitress with the glasses is finally bringing back your diet coke.

Action: You check, and so does everyone else. The waitress walks past your table with nary a glance.

Turn: Q♣

Action to you: Euromoney throws out a dime. Russell and Juno both fold.

Question: What do you do?

Answer: You could steam raise, since you’re really thirsty. Most of these guys would chase anyway.

Action: You call. Shortstack and Drunken Fratboy also call. $64 less rake in the pot.

River: 5♣

Action to you: Euromoney bets the pot.

Question: What do you do?

Answer: Whatever you do, don’t just call. One of these POWs will pay you off, and the craps table just went up to $15.

Action: You push all in. The pot’s now about $420. Shortstack calls, as does Drunken Fratboy (he uses $100 bills). Euromoney thinks for awhile, staring at about $900 in the pot.
Seems the only people looking at me are those who folded. I roll my eyes for the audience. Euromoney calls. Two flip over flushes, Russell slaps the table, and I’ve recouped my $1500 buy-in.

 

WSOP, Event 2 recap

I played my first WSOP event last week, the $1500 NL event, where the
field was split into two halves, for approximately 2000 runners each
day. Russell and Becker already signed up for day 1a, Saturday, so as
they took their seats I went to the cage to see what was what. The
lines were short so I didn’t mind queuing for 5 minutes to get info.
Turns out there were only 200 spots left for day 1b. Thankfully I just
won back some $600 at the $5 craps table at Gold Coast, but I was still
short a few hundred. So I visited the ACM, and prayed for skif-skaf,
since I wasn’t sure with the time change whether I could make another
withdrawal that morning. It rained Benjamins and 3 minutes
later a had a receipt for Event 2 day 1b.

[Russell/Becker bustouts redacted]

Took my seat Sunday, and during the first orbit it became increasingly clear that I had lost my card cover. Great, I’m already beat and I haven’t even played 1 hand. I improvise with my Italia pin but I’m still unhappy. Took my first hand with A♣ Q♣, no one called so I took the blinds. about an orbit later I’m heads up with the button, holding 6♣ 6♠. Flop is A♥ K♥ 6♥. My first 2/3rds size bet gets called. Turn is a brick and my second fire (600) takes it down.

Then about half hour of nothing until an UTG raises to 250 and gets 4
callers including me on the button with 5♣ 6♣. Flop is
Q♦ 3♥ 5♠ and I figure I can’t hang so I’ve mentally
checked out. Somehow it gets checked around and I get my 6 on the turn.
UTG bets 1000 and its all folded to me. I’ve put him on a big pair,
maybe TT that he thinks is safe now, or a set, which means I lose my
last longer bet and we’re three schmucks who dont get past level 1. I
shove, he calls, and shows AQ. He’s left with about 150, I’ve got about
6000.

A couple more people bust out and the table is broken, and I get moved.
The new lot doesn’t seem terribly different except for an LA Asian try
to table captain. Random bobbing and weaving for another 45 minutes.
the guy to my left is short stacked, and from the small blind shoves the
rest of his 1600 into a limped pot to try to take it down.. Pay
attention kids, this is my downfall.
1000 in antes and dead money, everyone folds to me (I’m the button
again) and I’ve got 4♦ 4♠. 2600 more chips gets me north of
8K, which is close to the big stack at that point. 1600 to win 2600 and
I’m sure he’s on random paint and hopes to hold up against A-x. I say,
“OK, let’s see which overcards you have.” We flip and he’s showing KJ.
Dealer flops and since I’m in seat 9 I can’t see the bad news until the
dealer removes his hand, all-in flopped two two and holds up.

I’m not tilted, but i think i was a little too eager to make myself
whole asap, and make a few ill-advised raises from early position to try
to take some blinds. This is the point in the tournament where players
started getting more aggressive, and I ended up having to lay down 66 to
a reraise, and folded another hand that in retrospect shouldn’t have
limped in from early. I’m down to 2K and make two all ins to take
blinds plus antes — once with TT — but got no traction. Right after 4
oclock break I get AJ UTG and shove. KK calls and I can’t pull off a
70/30 chance.

So that’s how I spent $1500. Don’t weep for me, I got it back and more
over the rest of the trip. I was surprised — and I guess pleased –
that I wasn’t buckling under the pressure of a Big Tournament. I made
the same moves I would have made at Rounders or that dump near port
Authority. A little more thought probably went into everything, and
that’s all good too. I think I learned a lot from it.